Coming every other week, straight from the horse’s mouth, I will be giving people the advice of their lives. The advice you thought you never needed regarding questions you never thought you’d ask to put you on the path you never saw yourself going down. 

If you have a question/need some advice/just want to see your voice in print, find me on Instagram (@rhhook) and splurge. I’m looking to monetize. 

Let’s go!

Q: What should I get my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?

A: Anything from I suggest the Saddam Hussein towel. Nothing says love like wiping the dirt off yourself onto a former tyrannical leader. 

Q: What is the best stock to invest in?

A: If it were a year ago, I would have said Gamestop, but it appears that would have been smart. I suspect a boom/bust in Blockbuster, mostly boom and huge bust. If it can happen to Gamestop it can happen to Blockbuster. Nostalgia is a revenue stream. Blink 182 had a tour and Mulan had a remake – who says Blockbuster can’t make a comeback? Even if it’s just a shirt from Urban Outfitters, we’ll see Blockbuster again. 

Q: I was thinking of having a day where I just read youtube comments, is that a good idea?

A: Modern journalism relies on a peanut gallery of comment sections. So, it’s either a journalism degree or this. Less money spent on YouTube comments. Grab some popcorn and indulge. 

Q: How often should I microdose to become a Silicon Valley CEO?

A: Take the dose between whatever Mark Zuckerberg and Charles Manson did. Manson created a social network too. Take half a dose of LSD every 10 minutes for 7 years. Heroic? Sure. Interesting? Yes. History made. I’ll be waiting for that app showing what I look like bald.

Q: Why did my penis fall off and how can I use this to my advantage?

A: I’m a doctor, but I’d best consult an astrologist.

Bonus advice: The more you listen to Joe Rogan, the higher you get on DMT -the better you get at UFC

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