“Moving on and getting over are not the friends they used to be”
Never did I think a lyric would resonate so much coming from the same guy who wrote ‘Your body is a wonderland’ and told Playboy having sex with Jessica Simpson was “sexual napalm.” We get it, but you’re not supposed to say it. But now as I launch this website, graduate with a bachelor’s degree, and field the constant question in my head and from my parent’s of “what’s next,” John Mayer’s words resonate a bit more than his usual margarine flavoured music does.
What is it about aging and moving on that takes on such different meanings through the years? When we’re young, it’s all about hitting double digits, becoming a teenager, turning 18, and such. They’re all milestones, and all about the number. But that changes after your teen years of underage drinking, chasing women or men, and reading Buzzfeed list articles on how to look cool. Past 20 years old, things change. It’s all engagements, marriage, jobs, kids, successes and failures. “The master has failed more times than a beginner ever has.” That’s what keeps rattling around in my head. But man, does failure knock me down. And maybe that’s what Mayer means. Moving on, from grade to grade, age to age, was always such a triumph when you’re young. Now the only triumph I feel is when I’m still a little bit drunk in the morning after a binge night and can still get up to smoke a bowl and make it to brunch.
And there’s no answer here, things don’t really get easier. Just because you might check all the ticks of someone else’s list really doesn’t mean things are suddenly easier – especially for a polyamorous, bi sexual, drug-adled, drunken 26 year old, like myself. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate my relationship with moving on and getting over. I recently did a tea reading. I tow the line between cynic and believer, but these things are often good for perspective. Within this tea reading, which is basically reading into the symbols and images seen from the tea leaves after drinking it, the reader said this phrase to me: a boy expects the world, a man creates it. Not only do I tow the line between cynic and believer, but now between boy and man.
It’s easy to be cynical, it’s hard to be optimistic these days. People often let you down… a lot. I chalk it up that they’re probably going through the same thing I am, but also, some people are just shitty. In the search for your own self preservation, just don’t step on another’s, that shit bites. But moving on and getting over, they’re not the friends that used to be, and patience is key. Hold that. The world was given to me – school, jobs, safety – but now that’s over. Now moving on and getting over are companions, brought on by wisdom, patience, and becoming a man. The first step may seem small, but even the greatest and brightest took baby steps.